Crutches

So many events have happened lately that have shown me more than ever that I need God. All the time. Whenever I think I can rely on "myself" to do something, I'm humbled with the truth that I can only do as God's grace enables me to do. Even basic living.

First, right before finals, I twisted my ankle playing pickup basketball with some brother seminarians. For once, this was not something that I brought upon myself by trying to be superman and do things that I can't do; all it took was grabbing a rebound and having an awkward landing. For the first time in my life, it was probably bad enough to go to the doctor (I didn't) and I needed to use crutches to move around and not cause further pain and damage to my foot. In this, I immediately thanked God for the dosage of humility that I desperately needed. Even a few days later, I was limping around without the crutches- and I continued to limp later because I just got used to limping! God gave me LIFE, and good health, and I had forgotten that.

Another event happened providing music for Mass at St. Peter's during Christmas break. Normally I don't fret about learning the Responsorial Psalm, mostly because I have a decent knowledge of Music Theory and can generally make something up that works okay. Prior to the beginning of Mass I had a good vocal part figured out for the verses. After the first reading, I played the response, and immediately forgot what I rehearsed for the verses and made something up, again. All four verses were different, they didn't fit the psalm, and at times I was even OFF KEY (gasp!) I take music very serious, and in another instance, I realized that I needed God's grace for this gift.

Now, realizing the need for the grace of God is one thing, needing humility is another, but something underlying both of those is thanksgiving. Two forms of prayers that are underused are praise and thanksgiving, and I believe that they are necessary for anyone who desires a deeper spirituality, and humility WITHOUT God removing graces. I realized sitting before the Tabernacle that I at times am thankful for my God-given gifts, but many times I offer thanks only once and let it pass, but God desires PERPETUAL, unending Praise and Thanks. Doing so is generosity in your part of your relationship with the Trinity, and the Trinity can NOT be outdone in generosity.

JMJ